More Classroom Capers

ok, here's some more of those classroom joke things. Some of them are really stupid but here they are:

"Dad, can you write in the dark?"
"I suppose so"
"Good, can you sign my report card please?"
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"Dad, I's been expelled."
"What? We spend a fortune on sending you to an exclusive private school and you still say 'I's'."
_____________________________________________________________________________________
"Mum, I'm not going to school today."
"Why not?"
"Because it's Sunday"
__________________________________
Engish teacher: Spell Missisippi
Student: The river or the state?
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Geography teacher: What's the coldest country in the world?
Student: Chile
__________________________________________________
History teacher: Here is a question to check that you did your homework on British kings and queens. Who came after Mary?
Student: Her little lamb
____________________________________________________________________________________
History teacher: What was Camelot?
Student: A place where camels are parked
___________________________________
History teacher: Whats a Grecian Urn?
Student: About $500 a week
________________________________
History teacher: What's the best thing about History?
Mary: All the dates
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History teacher: Why do we refer to the period around 1000 AD as the Dark Ages?
Student: Because there were so many knights
____________________________________________________________________
Maths Teacher: Paul, if you had five pieces of chocolate and Sam asked for one piece, how many would you have left?
Paul: Five
________________________________________________________________________________
Never go to school on an empty stomach. Go on the bus instead
_____________________________________________________
Principal: You should have been here at 9.00
Student: Why, what happened?
_____________________________________
Science teacher: What are nitrates?
Student: Cheaper than day rates
_____________________________
Science teacher: Which travels faster, heat or cold?
Student: Heat because you can catch a cold.
__________________________________________
Student to teacher: I don't want to worry you but my dad said that if my grades don't improve, someone's gonna get a spanking.
______________________________________________________________________________
Student: Would you punish someone for something they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not
Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework
_______________________________________________________
Teacher: I wish you'd pay a little attention
Student: I'm paying as little attention as possible
_________________________________________
Teacher: Wally, why are you late?
Wally: The train had a flat tire
____________________________
Teacher: That's three times I've asked you a question. Why won't you reply?
"Because you told me not to answer you back"

Eh, I liked the other ones better.

yeah i guess
u r good
for reaseraching
i'm lucky 2 have u as my inquiry freind

the other ones were much funnier

Yeah, I liked those ones more as well, but some people wanted more so yeah.
And Amy, you spelt researching wrong = p

Student to teacher: I don't want to worry you but my dad said that if my grades don't improve, someone's gonna get a spanking.


and the Camlot one. It was hilarious

Nice find Katie.

??????
lee
i dun get it

Don't get what, he only said that he liked those two jokes = p
Lol